![]() As a person nears the end of life, there are some very basic similarities that may be seen which crosses the type of illness or ‘reason’ for dying. Below is a list of some of these behaviors. Usually, the closer to death the more pronounced the symptom. Simple to complicated, easy to difficult, know there is always something that can be done to relieve any suffering that may accompany any of the following:
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![]() When someone is dying a natural death, there is a breathing pattern that usually happens. It goes something like this: a deep breath or 2, then holding it, followed by a shallow breath or 2, and so on. It is an uneven pattern of inhales and exhales. It can be scary if you don’t know it is coming. Another thing that happens is as the person gets closer to death, the time between inhales widens. When breaths are towards 20-30 seconds apart, death may be happening very soon. I say “may” because there is always someone who may have this breathing pattern and live much longer. Overall, breaths will be getting more shallow and the time between inhales will space out. There are exceptions to everything, but generally this is what you will see. Of course right now I want to tell you all the ways it could be different and how many ways breathing can look even with the above very general guidelines. The best thing to do is when you are going through this time, ask you hospice doctor or nurse about it and ask them to show you ![]() When a person is dying, she is retreating from everything outside of her. She has little energy for anything outside of what is going on in her internal world. She cannot respond the same to conversation. It takes much effort to answer questions. To engage someone in the normal back and forth conversational style can be overwhelming for her. Instead, tell a story. ![]() Saving a life or prolonging a life, is it only semantics? Read the following article by Craig Bowron, in the Washington Post, 1/11), “The Dying of the Light: The Drawn-Out Indignities of the American Way of Death.” I have experienced it in my own life and have seen it in my professional life—the feeling of relief when the ill person ‘makes it’ through the present threat of death. When the incident is over and we can breathe again, what condition is ![]() by Special Guest: Melody Chattel Within a 12-day period, I had the privilege of sitting next to two women as they took their last breaths. The two women were mother and daughter. Together they represented two of the most important women in my life, my own 72-year-old mother, Irma Jeanne Chatelle, and her mother, my 95-year-old grandmother, Faye Farley. My mother’s death was expected. She ![]() A cure is one thing in which to hope. If it is our time to die, what do we hope for then? Hope for physical comfort. The fatigue, pain, shortness of breath and nausea (among other symptoms) we see or experience can be demoralizing. Know that it is possible to live with minimal pain and discomfort. Just like in anything else we choose, there will most likely be trade-offs. Just know you ![]() Several years ago I went to a sweat lodge. Due to a fluke in circumstances I got to drive out to the land with the ceremonial leader (called the water pourer) of the sacred American Indian ritual. There are many things I’ll remember about the drive but the most notable was a phenomenon I began to notice the closer we got to the land. It was gradual yet profound and the stronger it got, the more aware I was of a gentle yet powerful feeling of peace. I told him what I was noticing and ![]() by Special Guest: Nancy Manahan, PhD “Nancy, I love the Mary Oliver poem that you sent me last week. ‘In Blackwater Woods’ is so beautiful, and so true. Would you read it at my Life Celebration?” We were sitting on the sofa in my brother and his wife’s living room in mid-June. Diane Manahan, my beloved sister-in-law had her legs stretched across my lap. I was scratching her thighs and shins as we talked. ![]() by Special Guest: Donna Belk As a hospice volunteer I am blessed to be included at the end of people’s lives. My daughters and friends sometimes ask me how I can do it …. thinking that it is icky or heart-wrenching. But to me I am the one receiving the benefit … not necessarily the person! As a volunteer I get to see many approaches to the end of life. The process of dying has a “life” of its own. No one is going to fail, and we really can’t do it |
AuthorIn fall 2014, I moved some old blog posts here that I had written years ago from 2007 to 2010. Hope they are helpful. Archives
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